Spiral Theory

You start off needing your parents. Depending on their love and care for everything. You trust what they say, until you don’t.
Welcome to adolescence. You rebel to try to separate yourself. To form your identity and know who you are. Until you don’t.

You then can understand their own way. You begin to see what they tried to explain. You accept they want the best for you and although you don’t need them,  you’re happy to have them around.

It’s amazing how much you can return back to the orginal step. You come back to where you were but with a little difference.

Like moving along a spiral.


Capitalism, Celluar Growth and Equality

I believe that there is universal truth. That truth can be recreated and adapted to multiple situations, however the same general truth is maintained. For example,  I believe that there is a parallel truth found in mathematics that can be applied to biology, to ecology,  to astronomy,  to physics, to sociology to your own personal philosophy.  Everything is interconnected and based on a foundation of truth. For example, you have your own personal identity and character. Who you are is brought into every situation. You can be a mother, a nurse,  a student,  and activist and these aren’t mutually exclusive experiences of yourself. Rather, they are like many rooms in the same house.
Similarly,  the sciences are not mutually exclusive but all reflections on the same basic universal truth. These laws of nature, these basic truths, are non negotiating. They can’t be changed.

.The Law of Evolution. The Law of Relationships  The Law of Equilibrium The Law of Change. The Law of Big To Small/ Material/Immaterial Exo/Endo Hyper/Hypo

As I struggle with knowing what/who I am and where I should go in life, I read in Naomi Kieln’s book “Capitalism vs the Climate” and she says, we have two options either grow or die.

I choose to grow. I think human beings have a natural tendency to take the road that doesn’t challenge them. To be passive. To take the easy route because,  taking the route that requires sacrifice,  letting go of the past, and work, is forever frightening.

However,  humans are becoming the strongest biological actors in shifting the Environment. If we do not change, humanity is in for the worst extinction of life that has ever been.

There is a relationship between humanity and the environment. Humans are like children, and the environment is the mother who supports us. If we continue to abuse mom, we will not have a house anymore!

In Biology,  cells exist in their cellular environment. They require food and energy to maintain growth and equilibrium. In order for a cell to dp this, the cell must allow some things to come through the semi permeable membrane and allow some things to not. According to biology,  there are two types of movement or transport that allows cells to do this. There is passive and active transport.

For passive transport to occur,  it requires no energy. It moves to a natural gradient,  from high concentration to low concentration.

When your neighborhood becomes to crowded, you move to the country where there is a small amount of people.

A cell does this naturally. If the amount of concentration outside of the cell is greater than the amount of concentration inside the cell (high external, low external) the cell will allow material (some) to pass into the cell in order to equalize it. The cell needs to maintain homeostasis. It is her only goal. Therefore if the internal environment is suddenly too concentrated,  she will (low external, high internal) release material outside the cell, past the membrane and into the cell environment.

This concentration gradient,  the movement of high concentration into low concentration is a rule for life. Think about when you were younger to now. Gradually, you have evolved to be less energetic than when you started. This is because,  as the environment changes over time, the cell, or you, must also change in order to maintain balance. Evolution.

Thus, the internal environment of the cell is very important. If the internal environment of the cell is too highly concentrated and the external environment is too highly concentrated,  the cell will die.

The cell needs to be at an equal amount of concentration internally and externally to maintain equilibrium,  and she makes changes accordingly whenever that isn’t the case.
If we blow up the cell to represent people, and people represent society,  it can be understood that
1. A society is healthy when it is at equilibrium and equality (socially, politically, fisically) is what we must always strive for if it isn’t the case
2. A society, like the cell, must have q healthy and equal relationship with its environment.
3. Society must constantly move from high to low concentration

Here’s what’s interesting,  Capitalism is a highly energetic social system. It requires a ridiculous amount of fossil fuels to maintain its self.

This happens in cells as well. Whenever a cell requires energy to go against its natural concentration gradient (high to low,  to low to high) it needs energy to do so( ATP). Thus it can be understood, that the Capitalistic system we live in, where profit is made when things that are low in cost get high returns, on a consistent basis is creating an environment that is near death. If a cell continued to bring low to high endo transport,  eventually it would deflate, shrink and die.

Capitalism is no different. If we continue to consume too much of the world’s energy resources and move higher and higher against the concentration gradient we will explode.

We need to shift to a society that is low to little energy in order to survive.

Self work/discipline

1. Work is good

To wake up every day and invest time and energy into your spiritual growth is the most fulfillment I have experinced as a young adult because, I begin to witness that the obly way to get to a better version of myself is to process myself.

2. The process

Is an act of letting go of what is old and making room for new. An effort of getting to a deep core of truth and reality. It is a movement from easy to hard. It’s letting go of what is no longer necessary for my growth.

Ex: I sweep. The more effort I put into my sweeping,  the more dirt is collected. Once I have done my best sweeping, I am now processed. I started out one way, did in action, and finished. The result post action then becomes the starting point for a next action, and another, and another.

3. Self care comes first
Currently,  I am the heaviest I have been in about 5 years. At 170 lbs, I realize that my well being is at risk. I can not afford to behave the way I have been behaving. I have over reached my limits. I needed to stop distracting myself with nonsense and other peoples bussiness and focus on maintaining a healthy balance in my limits. In the past, I waited for a crises to become the catalyst for change. But as I grow older, I am noticing that, the need to change is becoming more subtle. That, I can change my life before the shit hits the fan. That my previous work has acted as a buffer. I didn’t get fat overnight. It was a gradual progressive movement of poor habits. That, if I continue to grow it will be less and less likely that I’ll have a dramatic fall out. That, things become more stable.
4. Keeping up with the times

If we continue to live in the past, we hurt ourselves in many ways. One way is, we harm the process. If we are on a number line and we get to position 5 and stop, time keeps moving forward with or without you. I can’t move forward unless I let go of stage five and move to stage 6. But if I stay stuck at stage 5, even though things are moving forward,  I am destroying my ability to grow to higher levels of spirtual growth.



There is an inverse relationship between expectations and reality. Expectations are false hopes and have no standing in what is actually here.

The more I expect someone to do something, to wish, to hope, to think without any true connection to truth,  the less I am willing to act, I am willing to give, the more likely I am to be let down.

I have always maintained that the only expectations one should have is of themselves. But even that can become tricky.

Taking Care of Yourself

You cannot take care of anyone else, at the expense of yourself

Doing nothing is the worst thing you can do for yourself. As a child, you depend on your parents for everything. I know I did. But one thing as a eoman today I have learned to forgive my father for his shortcomings and realize that now I am in charge of mt destiny and I cannot maintain a psychological child.